For as long as I can
remember I had always been ethically opposed a, “Modern Wedding;” the kind that costs thousands of dollars in
the double, sometimes triple digits. I would think about how that money would
benefits charities or beginning a life together, a down payment on a house—a
marriage, not one night consisting of an extravagant, yet short
lived party. I didn't judge people for having weddings that cost
a small fortune, because to each their own, but I personally had always vowed
(no pun intended) not to buy into the hype of the billion dollar wedding
industry. I just couldn't fathom spending that kind of money for one
night.
Then, at 31, I got engaged and it turned out my fiancé had different plans—he wanted the party, the friends...the top shelf open bar. So in the spirit of building our life together, we practiced the art of compromise. We would have the modern wedding in the sense of venue, DJ, photographer, "top shelf open bar," but I got creative and decided to make the process my own, to use it as a soapbox of sorts, for something that was meaningful to us--Animal Rescue and Being Green.
Although this was our wedding, I refer many times throughout this blog as "I," as I primarily handcrafted, designed and executed this event. Matt is more laid back by nature, and aside from his insistence on the big wedding, he did not request much else (aside from picking out the sports themed and paw print cake) and allowed me to take it into my own hands.
In addition to the BARCS poster I made, I also made a giant poster of our foster cat at the time, in a bride costume, a gag gift received at my shower. It read, "PLEASE ADOPT ME,” and included her story. She has become our wedding mascot with her bridal shots. And my friend, Steve, another BARCS volunteer came over to take some professional glamour shots of her to use for the poster.
Beside each vase was an animal’s name hand painted on a wooden
plaque...
I am not one to
get emotional, but what has been most meaningful to me is the help we received
from the community to make our day so special. Countless people who were once
strangers to us stepped up to offer to help—some have turned into close
friends. We could not have done this without the help of the BARCS
volunteers, genuinely kind hearted people and restaurants who collected corks
from us, the people who took the time to submit their rescue tales. A woman
from Washington State was vising her children in Baltimore and saw
the cork flyers and would send me corks from Washington!
The concept of this type of wedding took off too--I received messages from people who were married and wished they had thought of something like this for their wedding, or getting married and wanted to do something similar. This feedback encouraged me to write about this in the hope that maybe others would be interested in learning about “wedding themes,” to make the event meaningful and personalized to them.
In the end, our wedding turned out amazing. And, I finally understood why people do the whole “wedding thing.” It was wonderful to share this celebration with our friends and friends. And the little bridal touches that I used to think were cheesy I actually got into. The day before the wedding I wore the a cap that read, "Bride," given to me by a friend, and I really wanted to get one of those "Future Mrs. (enter name)" hoodies or pants but that I couldn't because I thought of it only the day before! I was finally getting the concept of why people do weddings. The day of the wedding I got my hair and make-up done, and I had never felt so beautiful in my life.
The concept of this type of wedding took off too--I received messages from people who were married and wished they had thought of something like this for their wedding, or getting married and wanted to do something similar. This feedback encouraged me to write about this in the hope that maybe others would be interested in learning about “wedding themes,” to make the event meaningful and personalized to them.
In the end, our wedding turned out amazing. And, I finally understood why people do the whole “wedding thing.” It was wonderful to share this celebration with our friends and friends. And the little bridal touches that I used to think were cheesy I actually got into. The day before the wedding I wore the a cap that read, "Bride," given to me by a friend, and I really wanted to get one of those "Future Mrs. (enter name)" hoodies or pants but that I couldn't because I thought of it only the day before! I was finally getting the concept of why people do weddings. The day of the wedding I got my hair and make-up done, and I had never felt so beautiful in my life.
I had spotted on Pintrest a Kate Spade necklace that read, “mrs” in script writing that i begged
my mom for as a shower gift (that I never planned on having but it was more for
my mom and I actually ended up having a ball)! I grew a lot in this process too. I learned to enjoy the finer things that I so often in the past had deprived myself of.
Other fun wedding notes that s-t-r-e-t-c-h-e-d our budget and
were environmentally friendly:
Virtual Invites
We sent our invites
through e-cards, a step up from e-vites--we used a website called, Paperless
Posts, which saved paper and saved a huge expense in stamps. The
website even includes a program to track RSVPs, etc. Three cents per invitation
and response card and they offer all sorts of designer brand invitations if
that is your thing. I think it cost $38 total!
Pre-Owned Wedding Dress
Maybe I watched too
many episodes of “Say Yes to the Dress,” but I could not fathom spending the
kind of money some people spent on wedding dresses. I opted for a “pre-owned”
dress. There are many of these sites but I found mine on a website called, www.preownedweddingdresses.com This
is especially great if you know the name of the dress you are looking for. For
example, I knew the designer and name of the dress I loved and put that in the
search engine and came up with several matches. I got a $1000 dress for $400;
in pristine condition, worn once, for 5 hrs.
Ballet Shoes
The part of me that
did get caught up in the wedding jazz found a pair of Kate Spade gold flats. I
loved them. My mom ordered me 2 pairs for size, and neither really fit right,
but even more importantly, when I tried them on with my dress
they weren't visible as the dress touched the ground. So, I decided
to but cute white silk ballet shoes online ($20), somehow from Australia, and I
was so comfortable and tossed them at the end of the night.
Photographer
Years ago when I first
adopted Tovi I met Jenni Combs, of, "Forever
Yesterday,” through Craigslist. She was just starting out her photography
career at the time and I wanted photos of Tovi and she needed sample pet photos
for her website, so it was a perfect match. We met at a Park/Beach are and she
took the most incredible photos of my beloved young Tovi.
"Deposit A Gift"
I was blunt. There really weren't any things that we needed and I am a minimalist and hate cluter. We are both in our early thirties, lived both separately and together for some time and had everything we needed. And we are certainly not the type to use fancy dinnerware, serving pieces, or display crystal or silver frames, or even matching colored towels. This website allows you to enter in things that you really want for your wedding; things that perhaps cannot be put on a store registry (i.e. new windows, bathroom renovation, skydiving, honeymoon fund, etc.) and people “deposit” money toward your wishes. For cards, I decorated a used shipping box and turned it into a card box:
Bridal Party
Simply,
we didn't have one. It saved money on a rehearsal dinner,
party gifts, and most importantly, although it was one of the most important
things to Matt, I have a hard time getting close to people and honestly couldn't
think of anyone I felt close enough to, including my sister, to be involved in
my special moment. Except of course, Tovi.
Rehearsal Dinner
Our wedding took place the weekend after Thanksgiving. Instead of a traditional rehearsal dinner at a restaurant; we brought both families together to celebrate Thanksgiving at Matt's parents home, as the "rehearsal Dinner," with no real rehearsal of course.
Our wedding took place the weekend after Thanksgiving. Instead of a traditional rehearsal dinner at a restaurant; we brought both families together to celebrate Thanksgiving at Matt's parents home, as the "rehearsal Dinner," with no real rehearsal of course.
Yard Sales
LOVE yard sales! I think I had so many that Matt
has officially banned me from having any more for at least a year. My
friend, Tiffany, was also getting married and we played our sale up by
promoting the yard sale as going toward our wedding funds. Some
people even made random donations!
Make your own Photo Album
You can include more
photos for much less the cost of a traditional album! We made tons of books,
gifts for our families, and a Honeymoon album all for under $100 (Compliments
of a Living Social deal).
I made my own bouquet out of cloth flowers and
twine tied with a ribbon. Total cost $6.
Hair Style
My dress came with a giant flower that could be pinned to the waistline. No one was a fan of it, including me. I asked my hairdresser to cut down the flower and make it into a hair clip. Much to my mother's dismay, I didn't want the veil, or a bun, I wanted a side braid. One thing I found amazing through this process is that even though she paid for a lot of the wedding, she always reminded me that it was my wedding, no matter how much I could tell she hated some of my plans, and for that I have a lot of respect for her.
A little Celebrity Status
We made the he wedding section of the Baltimore Sun! I had really wanted to be in there so people could see what I did and hopefully inspire others to realize how unique you can make your wedding. And, finally a picture of me and my husband, Matt, which was featured in the Sun…
My dress came with a giant flower that could be pinned to the waistline. No one was a fan of it, including me. I asked my hairdresser to cut down the flower and make it into a hair clip. Much to my mother's dismay, I didn't want the veil, or a bun, I wanted a side braid. One thing I found amazing through this process is that even though she paid for a lot of the wedding, she always reminded me that it was my wedding, no matter how much I could tell she hated some of my plans, and for that I have a lot of respect for her.
We made the he wedding section of the Baltimore Sun! I had really wanted to be in there so people could see what I did and hopefully inspire others to realize how unique you can make your wedding. And, finally a picture of me and my husband, Matt, which was featured in the Sun…
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